This weekend, I’ve had to do so much housework and I’m actually exhausted. I feel like I need a weekend away from my weekend! But, this morning, I woke up and struck by a little inspiration – decided to do some more unpacking I’d been putting off rather than relaxing in bed (trust me, this was a difficult choice!).
Jamie and I moved in together officially a few months ago. It was a big, trusting step for me and for reasons I’ve always put down to stress, I never completely finished unpacking. But life with him seems so perfect recently, I decided to stop putting it off and get it done. And it was so much fun!
Of course, three months is a long time to go without unpacking. And I’d actually completely forgotten what was inside the bags! I mean, three months is a long time to go without using these things, so they obviously weren’t essential. But, they were amazing and gave me that little sparkly feeling – similar to retail therapy! You know that feeling of getting new, sparkly things to play with – I had three bags worth.
So, what did I find?
Amongst the normal rubbish-y things I got rid off, there were some amazing jewels within these bags. I actually found about 6 tops, a pair of jeans, a scarf and more that all still had tags on. And they are SO cute! I really wish I had a photo of these right now, but they do all need a good wash and iron to tidy them up. I will post a photo of my new clothes haul soon though – promises!
I also found a few cute accessories I’d forgotten I owned, my favourite coat I’d been looking everywhere for and some fun beauty essentials amongst kept memories with Jamie. But, my favourite thing I found? A diary. I’d started this diary on the 29th September of last year, the day before I met Jamie. And there was only one entry (and a quote I’d noted down from Izzy about how brilliant life is). And when I read this entry I felt so proud of myself, and so happy and I actually felt a little teary.
Now, normally I wouldn’t date think of posting an excerpt from my diary online – but the coincidence here and the timing was just too amazing not to share.
This is what it said:
Is it strange to call you diary? It sounds so… teenage. Then again, is teenage really a bad thing? Less responsibility, more fun and more… magic <3!
So, why am I writing? Loneliness, I guess? I recently got out a bad relationship. It was horrible. You don’t realise just how badly you’ve been manipulated and mentally abused until it’s over.
But I won’t let that ruin my hope and my belief in love; in kindness. I won’t believe in a cold and cruel world. It’s not naivety, it’s a choice. If peacefulness, warmth and kindness aren’t protected, they’ll cease to exist.
I wrote this on the 29th September 2016, and the very next day I met Jamie. The kindest, most thoughtful and strengthening man I’ve ever met. And I’ve never felt so strong in myself since I did. I’d like to think this was the universe’s way of confirming what I wrote in a way. In what I was desperately trying to believe and to keep my hope of a happier life after the abuse I’d received within my previous relationship.
I guess I’m posting this here too, not only as a reminder to myself for the next time I’m feeling a little low. But in the hope that maybe, someone might read this and remember that positive thoughts can lead to a happy life.
What inspires you? If you have a similar moment where your positivity has really made an impact in your life, I’d love to hear about it!
– Megan Grace, xo